Moments Like That

Yesterday I was privileged to have a girl's night with two of my very best friends. We chatted for a long time and then went to SubZero for ice cream. We all decided afterwards that ice cream is only complete with french fries and so we went on over to Leatherby's Family Creamery for their amazing fries.

During our french fry outing Abrielle decided that she was far too clean for the end of the day. She spilled water down her front, dipped her hand in fry sauce while eating and dripped that down her shirt, dropped half a tomato on her lap, and spit out pickle juice. As I was cleaning her up one of my girlfriends laughed and said, "This is the point where my husband would turn to me and ask, 'Do you really want to have kids?'"

Of course, she was joking and they would be absolutely thrilled to have kids, but those kinds of moments do make you wonder sometimes - when you're in the middle of a restaurant trying to pin your child down enough to actually clean her off and then you still have to pick her up - sticky, smelly, and drenched - to take her to the car...

But that moment was a learning moment for me as well. I felt as if, although my friend didn't ask the question to me directly, that is was a question for me. Do I really WANT to have kids? I understand that it is right and it is what I SHOULD do and now, HAVE to do, but is it really what I WANT?

In that moment, I knew the answer. Maybe being a mommy isn't glamorous. Maybe it means many MANY moments of wiping up messes most people would wish to not even have to see - let alone be responsible for. Maybe it means sleepless nights, frustrating rip-your-hair-out-just-go-to-your-room moments, embarassing situations, or inconvenience.

But in those moments that my little girl wraps her arms around my legs or calls out for me, or says from the back of the car in her seat, "I love Mommy!" I know that, given the choice again, I would choose the same.

I WANT to be a mommy.

Love, Shayla