*DISCLAIMER: I recognize how wildly varied opinion ranges on the "right" way to give birth. This is the story of what works for me and my family. I have many more pictures coming thanks to my wonderful sister. While she is working on the edits you get to enjoy a few of the poor quality pictures that I have snapped with my cell phone and tablet!
Many of you know that Jake started a new job last month as a Quality Assurance Specialist with a company in downtown Salt Lake called Towers Watson. They bring on new hires at the start of a pay period so his first day at the new job was Tuesday, September 16th. Because a new pay period had already begun at his previous job in Distribution with the LDS Church we had already paid for our insurance premium through the end of September. Our new insurance with the new company was effective as of the first day of Jake working there... meaning we were covered by TWO insurance companies from September 16th to the 30th.
Needless to say, we said a LOT of prayers before and during that time period. We recognized that it would make a significant financial difference if our little girl was born within that window of time. What we didn't recognize was how much of a difference it would make. Human Resources at Towers Watson was busy dealing with 40 new hires in their call center in South Jordan. Because of this the 4 new hires (Jake included) that started in the downtown office in September didn't get their paperwork for a couple of weeks. On the last few days of September we spent a significant amount of time on the phone, bugging HR representatives to get us signed up for our benefits. The delay didn't change the day the insurance went into effect (September 16th) but we were about to go into the hospital to give birth without any knowledge of what our new insurance would be whatsoever.
During our open window of double coverage I did many things to encourage our little girl to come early. (No, I didn't take castor oil.) I ate all the spicy foods, I exercised as regularly as I could - even doing jumping jacks and going jogging. I even passed a 10 mm kidney stone!!! Yes, I did. There were a few days that I felt like labor was very imminent - especially when I lost my mucous plug. But every time my contractions would ramp up they would always fade away and disappear.
I spent the entire morning of September 30th on the computer and the phone trying to get our insurance set up. We had planned to sign up for the best plan they had available and then drop to a lower plan since we are so close to the end of the year. We didn't anticipate how vastly different the "best plan" would be from the plan we had with our LDS church employment. We went from having no deductible and having maternity covered 90% to having a $2000 deductible with maternity covered 90% AFTER the deductible.... Ouch.
I will admit that my hope was shaken. It was hard for me to understand and see the big picture. It made so much sense, financially, that she should come in that window of time when we were double covered. It wasn't that far ahead of my due date! But hospital policy prohibits elective inductions more than 1 week before a due date. For me that date was October 1st. ONE DAY. One day different from when we were double covered. I spent many tearful hours pouring my heart out to the Lord for peace and understanding in his plan for our family.
After a horrible and long day dealing with insurance enrollment we had a good time celebrating my sister Alyssa's birthday with the family at Iceburg on Tuesday night. Since this was the 30th, the last day of our double coverage, I had definitely resigned myself to the fact that the Lord had a plan and I just had to go with it. I was reminded heavily of the talk by Elder Boyd K. Packer from March 1991 entitled, "The Edge of the Light." I had reached the point where I just needed to walk into the darkness and trust that everything was going to be okay. We got the house all cleaned and prepped and went to bed Tuesday night for the last time as a family of 4.
I was woken up at 3 am by a painful contraction. I was very surprised because this was the first pregnancy I have experienced Braxton Hicks contractions... but I had never experienced painful contractions before my water was broken. Not once in 3 pregnancies. I laid in bed for a while and turned on a movie and was surprised by a few more painful contractions in the next half hour. I started timing them around 3:30 and by 4 I told Jake I was pretty sure I was in labor. Since I was scheduled to be induced that morning anyways we just spent time watching movies, getting ready, and timing the contractions.
I called the hospital at 7 am and they told us to head on in. I timed the last contraction with my tablet app at 7:51... right as I was climbing into the hospital bed.
The nurse attempted to place the IV in my right arm but once she got it in she couldn't advance it at all. Boy did it hurt while she tried though! Jake was holding my hand and got a bit lightheaded watching her try to "fish around" under the skin. I was quite grateful when she gave up and moved to the other arm. From now on I'm going to tell them to go straight to my left arm! No more of that right arm stubbornness!
My mom and sister Alyssa arrived shortly after the IV was placed. The nurses started the pitocin at 8:30 and at 9:14 the on call doctor broke my water. I was dilated to a solid 3 at that point. My mom warned the nurses that she would go into hard labor very quickly after her water was broken so they put the anesthesiologist with the epidural on alert.
In the next half hour the contractions changed very quickly coming about every 1.5 minutes and hitting very strong. When I was in labor with Abrielle and Nathan my contractions never got very close together or higher on the chart than 6. This time I was hitting betwen 8 and 10 every time. I wanted the pain to distract me from getting the epidural placed so I held out for a while but said a prayer that Heavenly Father would help me to know when it was the right time to call the anesthesiologist. Almost immediately upon finishing my prayer I felt very distinctly that I shouldn't wait. The anesthesiologist arrived at 9:45 and by 10:02 the epidural was placed. I had some very painful contractions while they were working on the placement and they were quite distracting as I just tried to breathe through them. I was very grateful for this because when I had Nathan I had to get the epidural very early due to the large number of women who came into the hospital that day. Without the distraction of the contractions the epidural felt like it took a million years and I swore I never wanted to go through that again.
(*Side note! I was pleased to discover that they use a smaller, softer catheter now that doesn't hit the nerve so hard and so there is no feeling of electrical shock.)
The epidural was working much better on my left side and there was one area in my front right that took a really long time to be affected. I could still feel each contraction in that spot, almost until delivery. I pushed the "extra medicine" button once but it still took a long time for anything to happen in that area. Because of that I was a little nervous about having the catheter placed before the epidural kicked in so the nurses said they would wait for a while before placing it. I have had a catheter before because of a UTI test... they are miserable. I hate them. I definitely wanted to be numb!
Not long after that (like... 10 minutes?) I called the nurses back in because the pressure started. They placed the catheter and checked me again. At 10:40 it was determined my cervix was gone and I was totally dilated - a 10!
Let's quickly review, shall we? My water was broken at 9:14... at 10:40 AFTER the epidural I was completely ready to have the baby. I silently thanked the Lord for his guidance in getting the epidural placed when I did. If I had waited even just a few more minutes my body would have barreled to the finish line in hard labor and my nurses would have had to deliver the baby!
We tried a few practice pushes while my doctor was called. Jake was able to see the top of the baby's head and we stopped pushing so my doctor could actually arrive BEFORE she came.
The doctor took quite a while to get to the hospital and while we waited they turned off the pitocin and the epidural took greater effect. I was surprised the pressure wasn't as strong this time as with Nathan's birth but I was still able to feel her moving down the birth canal.
My doctor finally rushed in shortly before 11:30. I made it clear that I did NOT want an episiotomy but just wanted to tear naturally if I did. TMI? Too bad! :-) It took a long time for me to heal after having an episiotomy with Nathan (like, 8 weeks) and I'd heard this way is better. I told them even if it took significantly longer to push her out I wanted to take that route instead.
They got me all set and my doctor instructed me to push. He didn't tell me to take a deep breath first so I just did my best but I didn't think it was a very good push... until they told me her head was out!!! On the second push I did take a deep breath and Valerie Kim was born!!! 11:32 am. Jake cut the cord this time (he hasn't on the previous two) and they set her on my stomach while they scrubbed and suctioned her out. I, of course, started crying. It is just such an incredible miracle and a clear manifestation of the reality and power of a loving Heavenly Father.
She weighed 6 lbs 12 oz (our smallest so far) and was 20 inches long with a head full of dark brown hair. Alyssa snapped all kinds of pictures for me while crying as well. :-)
I tore a little (2nd degree), but not badly and she nursed great for the first time. We fell instantly in love!
During our stay in the hospital I reflected on the mercy of my Heavenly Father. I easily could have gone into the hospital that day, been induced, and been left with so many questions about why things happened the way they did. Why didn't she come within our window? Why was I unable to be induced because of ONE day difference? Etc... Instead, I felt like the Lord had sent us a very clear message when I went into labor on my own that very morning - He was in control, He had a plan, and He was looking out for us. With how quickly things went if I had gone into labor just 12 hours earlier Valerie would have been born on September 30th; however, for whatever reason, being double covered was not part of our big picture. October 1st was the day Valerie was SUPPOSED to come. Because of the wonderful tender mercies of the Lord I know that He is looking out for us. That doesn't mean that we won't still have to pay significantly more than we were expecting to originally, but it means that I can move forward with faith knowing that the Lord is mindful of us and everything is going to be okay.
We didn't stay in the hospital long. I had a weird allergic reaction they couldn't ever figure out but it caused the left side of my face to swell and go numb in places. At one point my left eye was surrounded by a red rash and became blood shot. Super weird! Other than that we met with no complications and were easily discharged.
Abrielle and Nathan came to the hospital to meet Valerie and were so enamored with her. Nathan kept saying, "I love her." I was so happy to see how much they instantly loved her. We bought them both "gifts from Valerie" that we presented to them in the hospital. Abrielle got a new stuffed giraffe and Nathan got an airplane.
We are adjusting to life with 3 and healing. I am incredibly sleep deprived but still totally enamored with this beautiful little girl. I am so grateful for all 3 of my beautiful children and the calling to be a wife and a mother. Nothing in this world brings me greater joy.
October 5th was our 7 year wedding anniversary. Marriage and children are better than ANYTHING!!!!! I am so grateful for my life, my health, my family, and, above all, my testimony of my loving Father in Heaven. I have faith in God and in his timing and I am grateful for the manifestations of His awareness of my life.
Love to all of you and yours,
Shayla
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