On the forefront of my mind today (and in the past several days) is a young man that will be leaving our area of the world in just a few short days to serve the people of Indonesia on behalf of the Lord - my brother, Zac.
Zac and I are 7 years apart - just far enough apart that we were never in the same phase of life. There were a few times as a teenager that I confided in my mom that I didn't really understand Zac. He is very different from me in so many ways. I remember distinctly having a conversation with her one time about Zac and she basically told me, "Shay, Zac loves everyone unequivocally. I wish I could be more like him."
Her statement really surprised me at the time. I had been focusing a lot on the frustrations I felt with my very outgoing little brother and had failed to see him in the same way that my mom was describing to me. That single conversation was a huge turning point in my relationship with my brother. That day my mom showed me how narrow my view was, gently encouraged me to broaden it, and I don't remember if we ever revisited the topic again - we didn't need to.
Since that day I have been able to view Zac in a totally different light. In doing so, I have been able to learn many valuable life lessons that have improved my outlook on life:
1) Love the life you're given, but create a life you love.
If I had to choose just one thing my brother has taught me... it would be this. Zac doesn't wait around for life to bring him happiness. He gets out there and he drags happiness along for the ride! There have been many instances when I felt like life handed Zac a lot of lemons, and, I kid you not, the boy would've been metaphorically on the corner handing out the sweetest lemonade (for free!) to everyone that passed by. When new possibilities and directions would come up in his life he would move down the new road with confidence and hope for a brighter future. Zac has shown me that it isn't only about loving the life we are handed, but also getting out there and opening doors for ourselves to create happiness. And in doing so, we usually bless and uplift those around us as well.
2) Be yourself, and don't be ashamed if it isn't the same as everyone (anyone) else.
We have joked that if everyone wanted to drink root beer, Zac would choose grape soda - not because he has this yearning desire to "go against the mold" but because Zac isn't like the mold. For years I watched him do seemingly crazy things - wear bowties, thick glasses, mismatching socks, crochet for fun, build things out of duct tape - but, without fail, when Zac did it it wasn't crazy. People emulated him everywhere he went and I believe it is because he comes off as so confident and content with who he is that people crave that for themselves. I know that I certainly fall into that category. I wish I could be half as confident and content with myself as my brother has shown me that I could be.
3) Love fiercely.
Zac is one of the most fiercely loyal people that I know. He stands by his friends and family and will defend them, if needed. Even though we hardly spent any time together (particularly when he was in high school) I never doubted how much my brother loved and cared about me. My eyes well with tears thinking about the countless number of times he has simply come up to me, put his arm around me and said, "Hey Shay. How are you?" It seems small and insignificant, but it mattered to me. It told me that, despite his busy life and despite the huge number of people who love him and want to spend time with him, I am his sister and that makes me special.
I also have always admired the confidence in which he has displayed his love for our mother. As a teenager Zac was never ashamed to walk hand-in-hand with our mom. It is no secret to anyone who knows them both that Zac's fierce love and loyalty dwell primarily with our mother.
4) Be the change you want to see in the world.
I have always appreciated my brother's strong testimony. I know that he loves the Lord and the gospel. I also know that he will make a fantastic missionary simply because he is not afraid to share with anyone and everyone the "good news." Zac's love for the Lord seems so straight forward and simple in its complexity. He knows it is true, he loves God, and he applies the principles of the gospel to all aspects of his life. I see the light of Christ reflected in my brother and in the care and consideration he shows to those around him.
5) Don't ever give up on yourself.
We won't always go forward with full confidence, knowing that everything is going to be great. Sometimes we close our eyes, take a deep breath, and jump. This has been hugely apparent to me in Zac's life. In many ways he was dealt a bit of a rough hand and things didn't always work out for him the way we thought it would; nevertheless, he always gave everything his best and continued to push through when odds seemed stacked against him. He faced his personal mountains, and he came off triumphant.
I could add many more things to this list but, since I appear to enjoy doing lists of 5, I will leave it at that. I am so proud of this young man - for who he was, is, and who he has the potential to become. I have come to love and admire him so deeply and I cannot imagine my life without him. It hurts my heart to think of him leaving for two years. I know that our family life will be a little bit darker without our bright ray of sunshine around to constantly make us all smile. But I have a testimony that his sacrifice to leave for two years to serve the Lord is a good sacrifice and the best one that he could be making at this time of his life.
I love you Zac. I am so glad I have the privilege to be your sister and to have been blessed and influenced by your amazing spirit for so many years. Go forward in faith and confidence to serve our Lord.
Love, Shayla
P.S. If you would like to continue on the adventure with Zac follow along with his mission at: http://elderzactroff.blogspot.com.
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