Yesterday was harder for me than I would've expected. After leaving our vacation in Midway we stopped in Park City for some shopping. It was great to find some beautiful things for Abrielle and new jeans for Jake, but I didn't realize how sore my leg was until we had been shopping for a while and I was limping from store to store.
Abrielle hadn't slept well the night before and the tiredness got to be overwhelming. I was grateful when we had seen all the stores and I could sit down and rest my throbbing leg. I recharged a bit on the drive home but then I had to teach piano yesterday afternoon and used the rest of my energy up.
Abrielle was feeling the length of the day as well and was being pretty unruly. She has hit the terrible two stage a bit early and throws tantrums at the drop of the hat when she is tired and hungry. By the time 8:00 came around I was done being mom for the day and just laid in bed.
We got Abrielle to bed and then I pulled out the newest book that I have been reading. It was a chapter in which the main character talks about her mother having a second child, only the baby got strangled by the umbilical cord and was born stillborn. Then, the main character recalls how her mother was crying out for her baby and then had to be taken to the hospital because she never stopped bleeding. They had to take out all of her equipment so she could never bear a child again.
I laid in bed for a few minutes after that thinking about my life. I asked Jake to bring Abrielle into our room, but not to wake her up. He laid her next to me and I got to snuggle my beautiful baby, hold her hand, kiss her head, and stroke her hair while she slept.
As I lay there with my baby and my wonderful husband next to me I reflected on those delicious moments of life that God grants us. The moments that make everything worth it. The moments that you stare into your child's face and remember why you wanted to face each day busier and more hectic than you ever thought you could be.
I never understood fully what it would mean to my life to be a mother before I became one. I often laughed when I was pregnant and people would ask me, "Are you ready?" How can someone ever be "ready" for something that changes your life so completely?
But you know what? In that beautiful moment last night I saw God's plan for my life. I saw his plan for my happiness reflected in two beautiful faces.
And I thought that no matter what I thought would bring me happiness in my life...
God really knew best.
Love, Shayla
1 comment:
Don't you love those little moments? I know what you mean about those terrible two's. Breena started those quite early, too. It seems that she's already been at it for a really LONG time!
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