Monday morning, shortly after breakfast with Abrielle, I started experiencing a painful cramping sensation in my right lower abdomen. Being 7 months pregnant this is definitely a reason for concern and so I laid down and tried to rest to see if the pain would go away. It quickly became apparent that it was not going away - indeed the pain started to spread towards my side and down my leg. By the time I contacted my doctor's office about my concerns the pain was pretty intense, stretching around to my right lower back.
I tried to teach a few piano lessons but after just the first one ended I ran to the bathroom and threw up breakfast. The pain was getting bad enough that it was making me very nauseous. I apologized to my remaining students and cancelled their lessons. Shortly after lunch time I asked Jake to come home and help me because it was getting harder and harder to function and I was pretty sure that my doctor was going to want me to come in and get checked out.
Sure enough, not long after Jake got home we made the drive to the doctor's office and discussed what was going on with him. By the time we talked to him the pain had very obviously traveled up my back to a point where I knew for certain that it was my kidney. After asking us a few questions and gently "pounding" my back Dr. Smith confirmed what I feared - kidney stone. He sent us home with prescriptions for percocet for pain, phenegren for nausea, and FloMax to help move things along if it didn't pass on its own quickly.
Of course all of this had to happen the same week that my brother got married and my mom was swamped with wedding preparations. I felt so terrible about not being able to help her out but I knew that if I didn't take care of myself that I might not be able to make it to the wedding at all. Luckily, my beloved in-laws so graciously took the kids on Tuesday all day long while Jake was at work. I was doing fairly okay. The medicine was helping me control the pain, I was able to teach a few lessons, and then I spent the rest of the day sleeping. Definitely a huge blessing.
Wednesday I was hoping to be doing well enough to help my mom with wedding preparations - she insisted that I rest. Turned out to be another blessing because Wednesday was a pretty hard day for me. I felt pretty sick all day and the pain was more intense again. I prayed and pleaded all day long that the stone would pass that day so that I would be in the clear for my brother's wedding. The Lord had something else in mind for me.
See, although it had happened already throughout the week to this point, it was time for the Lord to REALLY draw my attention to the principle He was trying to teach me - the never ending cruse of oil. I could see my little cruse being continually filled, little by little. Just enough to get me through piano, just enough to help me take care of my kids - whatever the need was, I always had just enough. The same was true on Thursday. Did the stone pass? No. But the Lord made sure my cruse of oil did not fail me. The percocet worked beautifully all day and I was almost pain free. I was able to walk to and from the temple from the West Office Building where Jake works (and we parked). I was able to sit in the sealing room comfortably. I was able to participate in all of the pictures. I was able to run around in the kitchen and help prepare the wedding dinner. I always had enough.
As the night wound to an end and we started to get ready to leave I felt like I should ask Jake, my dad, and Grandpa Dunford for a blessing. Jake had given me a blessing on Monday but I felt the need was really there. Jake anointed the healing oil and my dad sealed it with a blessing. The first thing my dad said was that my body would know how to rid itself of that which was bothering it. I was able to leave the church that night confident that this trial would come to an end as my body did what it needed to.
What I didn't know is how quickly that blessing would start to come to fruition. Not even minutes after I sat in the car at the end of the day in which I had been so strengthened and lifted up as to be able to participate in all of the festivities for my brother and his new wife... the pain started. The ultimate pain - unlike anything I have ever experienced before. I know for certain my contractions never got that painful when I was in labor with Nathan and I honestly don't remember if they got that intense before I got an epidural with Abrielle.
Do you know how people compare kidney stones to the pain of childbirth? I have had kidney stones before but I have never had renal colic before. Renal colic is what happens when the stone completely blocks the flow of urine in the ureter. The urine then starts to back up into the kidney and it starts to swell. The lining of the kidney is sensitive and not intended to stretch that way - when it does it equates to extreme levels of pain. I don't remember a whole lot about that car ride home. Jake says I was clawing at the door and the car and squeezing his hand so tight my ring was digging into his flesh. I remember sobbing and not being able to answer my poor babies worried questions of, "What is wrong with mommy?" When we got home I went inside as quickly as I could and went straight for the shower where I knew the hot water pressure on my back would give me even the smallest amount of relief. I paced, sobbed, threw up my brother's wonderful wedding dinner, and pleaded with the Lord to help me get through it.
I remember soft words of assurance and comfort from the Spirit. I literally felt like I was being coached through what I needed to do. I was able to find a breathing pattern to help me focus through the pain and a little over an hour later I had the overwhelming urge to lay down. The pain lulled to its regular dull ache and I was able to drift off to sleep.
Jake took the day off of work on Friday after that frightening episode and I contacted my doctor again to find out what he wanted me to do. The nurse contacted me and sounded concerned but she needed to review the information with my doctor before telling me whether I needed to go to Labor and Delivery at the hospital for an ultrasound of my kidney. The office closes at 11:30 am on Friday and the time came and went without the nurse ever calling me back. I tried to contact the on call doctor but he, also, took a long time to return my call. In the meantime I had another episode of renal colic. I spent more time crying and praying in the shower, trying to find relief. I plead with the Lord that the hot water wouldn't run out in the house as it was the only thing that was helping at all with the pain. As the heat started to dwindle I got out of the shower to try pacing again for a while and not long afterwards the episode subsided. By the time I needed the shower again it had been long enough that the hot water was replenished in the house - once again, the Lord proved to me that he wouldn't let my cruse of oil run out.
My nurse finally called back and informed us that if I had another renal colic episode I needed to go straight to labor and delivery to be evaluated. We waited at home throughout the evening, anticipating the return of the debilitating pain, but it didn't come. I am extremely grateful for another blessing of a caring neighbor who spent the day on stand-by in case we needed to leave the kids with her and run off to the hospital. Both my mom and mother-in-law were out of town and she was a great reassurance in a time of need.
By the time Friday night rolled around I felt pretty confident that the pain was moving down my back. I felt very hopeful that this signified the nearing end of my trial and that it would be over soon. Jake and I got to bed fairly late and I awoke around 2 am in terrible pain again. I took a percocet at 2:30 and was able to get back to sleep by 3:00 but at 5:00 I was awoken by a return of the pain again. Since you have to wait 4 hours between doses of the percocet I was left with one and half hours of trying anything and everything to deal with the massive pain. I spent a lot of time in the shower again and a lot of time pacing our bedroom. I shed many tears in Jake's arms and poured out my heart to the Lord. I didn't understand why I had let myself hope so much that it was going to be over soon if it was just going to continue to be so bad. The pain was so intense in my kidney area I was certain that we were going to end up in the hospital. Jake let me know that we would be going to the hospital if the pain wasn't gone by morning. I took another percocet once it reached 6:30 and as I paced our room some more waiting for it to kick in I heard that reassuring voice once again - the Lord was aware of my struggle and He had strengthened me to endure it. I felt that I needed to hold on for just a little longer and the trial would be over - my cruse would NOT fail me.
I was able to get back to sleep around 7 am and I slept rather fitfully believing that the pain would return again around 9. But it didn't come. Jake got up and got the kids ready to go to the Ogden Temple Open House. I said goodbye to my babies and sweet husband from my bed and drifted peacefully back to sleep without the pain to plague me.
Around 10 am I realized that my stomach was grumbling pretty badly for want of food (I have eaten very little all week) and my baby started stirring to let me know that she was pretty hungry too. I didn't want to move - I was so afraid that leaving my bed would mean an immediate return of the pain - but I hesitantly got up and made myself something for breakfast.
And the pain didn't return.
I went back to sleep after breakfast and got up for lunch. And the pain didn't return.
And slowly I began to accept the fact that, 6 days later, it was finally passed.
I wish I could adequately express my deep gratitude for everyone who prayed for me, who offered advice and comfort, who helped take care of my family, and who checked in on me throughout the week. Your prayers and well wishes were felt and appreciated. I know that the power of God was with me this week to lift me up with countless tender mercies. From little things like the opportunity for kind co-workers to fill in for me at EIM and piano lessons that were cancelled for various reasons during my darkest hours when I didn't know how I would get through them - to being able to joyfully attend my brother's wedding. My cruse of oil, like that of the Widow of Zarephath, did not fail me.
I have a testimony of a loving Father in Heaven who is aware of our personal struggles and trials and who is there for us to bless us as we turn to Him for peace, comfort, and guidance. This week didn't work out the way I wished it would have, but it turned out for the best and I owe that to the outpouring of blessings from my Father.
I know I will continue to experience trials throughout my life, but I hope to always know, especially in my darkest hours, that the Lord will keep my cruse of oil from failing.
May the Lord bless and keep all of you through your happy and dark days.
Loves, Shayla
1 comment:
Yikes! That sounds like quite the ordeal! Glad it passed and you're doing better. I'm impressed you could learn something from it instead of just whining like I would have done :)
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